The I know, are the artists ... People with extraordinary ideas, and the customer is your worst enemy. He exists with the sole aim to clip the wings to your creativity with extraordinary trivial excuses like the need to communicate a message, or even (horrors!) may prevent issues with common sense, especially when you decide to launch a brand of stockings for old ladies with a drawing style Pollok and written text on a small child. Worry, just apply some simple rules of behavior (Already used successfully by many expert and experienced graphic) and transform the customer in an individual under the thumb and condescending, or even an admirer of your art:
- not go to the briefing with the client. Send a business that until recently was selling shoe laces and he does not understand anything about graphics, even better if you do not understand anything about anything.
- not read the detailed briefing that the client has prepared struggling for hours. Instead, go to your office work, preferably depressed, who can sew a little 'with' Paint '. Let them send the work to the customer without giving him even a glance. This way you have gained an important advantage on him, you never see resign immediately realized what had been discussed and promised by your sales.
- Retype whole parts of the texts that you sent. Remember: focus on the parts written in a language you do not know, with many difficult words and symbols, be sure to skip words here and there in the text and repeat entire lines. To be more effective, do this only after the first round of drafts, when the text has been reviewed and approved by the customer. Do not run the risk that the error can be identified easily. Put
- complicated backgrounds in the texts to make them unreadable.
- Align each title in differently (one right, one left, one in the center and a justification). If he dares to ask even look at him down as someone who does not understand the art and do not give in: the next version will be even more inconsistent.
- Do the corrections and changes to the version he worked on the client, but always use the older version.
- Whatever you ask, how to change the background because the texts are unreadable, or if he dares to suggest not to write the slogan with Chinese characters (with the excuse that ordinary people do not understand!), Or even if it asks you if you can use the bathroom, remember is only one answer: "You can not do! Ruin the graphics. "
- Two days after the customer has to send him a file all wrong (see paragraph 5) and then make yourself missing, do not answer the phone, put on your answering machine and the automatic reply email with the message: "We are on holiday, reopening in 3 days."
- Send to the printer with a non-controlled with an error in the cut marks, do not send the unavailable font you used for the job. When the customer calls you and asks you humbly tell him to speak directly to the printer, the printer is incompetent and refuse to talk to him, the rest of you are artists ... who cares if your product is unfeasible.
- Finally, return the work 10 minutes before the big presentation organized by the customer, but beware! Make sure there is a typo in the title and the last time you forgot to include the logo of the principal funds. Instead of that logo, we'll showcase the logo of the competitor that your secretary has downloaded from the internet by mistake.
After 2 or 3 of these experiences the customer will be docile and resigned, it will be your humble servant and will accept all that in mind, especially if incomprehensible. By the time he will learn to appreciate your small inconsistencies and oversights your return ... you always hat in hand ... you who know how to use Photoshop, Flash, In Design etc, he still needs you!
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